Standards? Who needs em? Certainly not the average lonelyheart living in the great white north.

The ads you are about to read are actual personals placed in The Northland Reader magazine, summer of 1998. Spelling and grammatical oversights have not been edited from original ads. Laugh, but only if you must.

 

 

Women Seeking Men	Finnish widow—Duluth area NS, 70+ seeks SWM who enjoys movies, dining out, slow dancing, books, music, outdoors and dogs.
Peekaboo SWF, 28, ISO LTR w/ good looking male who has a job, no criminal record and who does not hit, lie or cheat. I have Great Lungs and a Heart O' Gold!!!	Rainbows end WF, shy, cute, likes animals, walks, traveling. Seeking tall Teddy Bear, 38-48, with morals and hair.
Little woman, big thoughts WF, 19, country girl looking for a ride from a country boy who loves to roll around in the hay.	Men Seeking Women
SM.WWW.COM and get it! Get what? Get a sashayin', pool playin', mind sayin', fish slayin', bill payin', smoke nayin', average weighin', drink maintainin', sex delayin', woman for datin'! Know what I'm sayin'?	Modern mountain man M, 45, ISO female that enjoys the woods. She must take the path less traveled--wilderness, camping, music, reading, dancing--not a TV person.
Hi! I am full figured, under 5', 60+ years old. I would like to meet a nice man who likes yard and rummage sales, eating in or out, lake walks, cards and bingo. Summer is here so let's see what happens. I am shy at first but maybe you can help me get over that.	Lonely pasture 660 month old DWM bull seeking possible LTR with smoking slender heifer to share feed troughs, walks and the simple things in life. Respond if you are honest, enjoy quiet times and are WW/S female between 480 to 660 months old.
Begin the journey sweetly Me: Humerous, easy-going, sentimental, honest, weird, blond, sensuous, rubinesque, physical, new age. You: Like?	Winters here! SWM, 30, brown hair, hazel eyes, 5'8" 1/2, 150 lb., neatly groomed beard. Seeking S/D female, age open, race & weight "unimportant!"
Oompaloompa wanna-be! 22 year-old free thinking individual who loves stickers, coloring and self-expression, blue eyes, pierced lip and green hair. ISO playmate to act childish and have a blast with.	Take a chance! SWM, 40, 6'1", 210, brown hair and eyes. Seeking a tall, hot, busty, sexy, loving female 20-45, outdoor lover who enjoys the Beargrease. Red hair a plus. Hurry, let's cuddle by the fire!