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The
Unofficial Duluth-to-Jewish Dictionary
The
day I moved here, a man asked me, "Geez, where ya from with
that funny accent?"
 "Strange,
I was thinking the same thing about you," I replied. I laughed
boisterously, flailed my arms and slapped my thigh. He snorted
softly and two fine hairs on his left eyebrow made the slightest
twitch.
 On
it went: He said potatah, I said latke. He said tomaytah,
I said borscht. It didn't take long to discover that pronunciation
was the least of our problems. My new neighbors and I needed
magic decoding rings to understand each other's accents,
tones, and jokes. So, in the interest of regional tolerance,
I've prepared this easy-to-follow guide:
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CONVERSATION
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Topic
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When
Jews discuss,
it means:
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When
Minnesotans discuss, it means...
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The
Weather
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Discomfort.
As in "Oy, is it hot, Sophie. I'm schvitzing to high
heavens!"
Or,
"I'm freezing to death in here! Of course, YOU never
come by to fix the radiator."
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A
full half hour of conversation, followed by an abrupt
and awkward silence. "Do
ya like it here in Minnesota? Oh, yah? Yah, the weather
gets cold here. Say, I'm goin' ice fishin' with some
buddies from high school t'morrah. It's gonna be a
cold one..."
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NON-VERBAL
COMMUNICATION
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Expression
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Jewish
Meaning
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Minnesota
Meaning
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Silence
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"I'm
very disappointed in you. How could you do this to
me? I carried you for nine months, fed you from my
own bosom, put you through law school. How could you?"
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Used
to express any emotion, from boredom to fascination,
seething contempt to passionate love.
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Smile
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Pity.
Often reserved for a nebbishe creature of inferior
intellectual endowment.
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Hatred.
Can express either immediate dislike or residual contempt
held in for weeks, months, even decades.
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WE'VE
GOT SOMETHING IN COMMON!
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Item
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Jewish
Style
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Minnesota
Style
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Fish
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Gefilte
Fish. A bland piece of fish,boiled and canned
in lumpy, jellied broth of unknown origin. Served
at Passover.
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Lutefisk.
A bland piece of fish, boiled in lye and smothered
in lumpy white sauce of unknown origin. Served at
Thanksgiving and every day at Sven and Ole's Swedish
pizza shoppe in Duluth.
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